The STD that led to your infertility
I'm keeping your secret safe with me
Your father in law is a pedophile
How I've wanted to call the cops all the while
The abortion from the cheating man
Your secret is safe in my hands
You're seeing prostitutes while your wife dies
I won't tell a soul about her lonely cries
You've got bulimia and special therapy
I'm keeping your secret safe with me
A husband, a child and a lover on the side
Sometimes you all just suck me dry
It's nice to be everybody's best friend
But when will your secrets ever end?
It's nice for you I'm not that judgmental
But that doesn't mean I won't judge at all
Sometimes I wanna slap you all in the face
Take hold of your problems and make a change
I can't tell a soul about any of this
This week it just cracks me up
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