When you were king

It was so easy when I had everything
You were my future, you were the king
I feel sorry for changing your life
Just because I thought it didn't feel right
It's sad and true it didn't feel the same as it used to do
But all that's good and true will come back to me and you

Are you in?

I bare all
You see me rise, you see me fall
I'm not asking for much, just a little honesty
I don't do this for everybody, I beg you for mercy
I get naked, turn myself inside out and let you in
Tell me are we partners in crime, are you in?

Tired of nothing

I get so tired of doing nothing
I get so tired of thinking
I wish I knew where I am heading
The only way to find out is by waiting

I’m just a drop of water in the ocean,
I’m just a blade of grass in the field,
I’m the organism with the most emotions,
So I’m able to think about how I feel.

Don’t know if there’s a God, wonder why I live
I search for a reason to take and to give
I try to put everything in perspective
And I like to think my actions are affirmative

Too much time to think, but too little to find out
What my life in this world is all about
I can’t save the world from it’s destiny
I doubt if answers are the answer
If I’m just a grain of sand on the bottom of the sea
Would I be any different in the desert?

Sometimes it’s just too much to abide
And so nice to narrow my mind
And I wish I would bump into John Mayer that night,
So I can ask if Jennifer Aniston has any cellulite

The man

Everybody says I need a more mature man
Everybody says I need a self assured man,
A man who will lead the way

I just want a man who can take care of himself
Who isn't afraid to be left on the shelf
A man who thinks his life is pretty okay

I like them upbeat, funny and witty
But most of all I want a man who really loves me
And really loves me everyday

Random thoughts?

I wanna say I don't do this with everybody
But I don't want to scare you
I wanna say I'm afraid of love
But I don't want to scare you

At this moment

Talking nonsense at the bar
Or an interesting psychological conversation
I don't sleep with someone easily
But I get tired of masturbation

The lows, the highs,
Would it be boring without them?
But I hate switching between lonely cries
And laughing out loud

I choose you for a reason
You make me feel at ease
You're funny and you're witty
But I hate hoping you're thinking of me

Rated R

There you go,
You made a memory with me
Maybe not the one you hoped for,
But it's perfect for me

So now you're captured in my brain
For as long as I can remember that
There was a Sunday with poring rain
And I didn't mind that

Opposite

Natural selection has got us this far
To a point where we think we know who we are
To a point where we think we know what we need
But to find an exact match would only be inbreed

I tell myself it's something chemical
You're not that special
You're not my type at all
You're just very kissable

You're just a minor impact
I know I overreact
I don't believe in opposites attract
Assuming you're the opposite
But maybe you're not

No one else

I read your hateful comments
And I wonder what you want to achieve?
Obviously you don't wanna be friends
But I don't know you, so why pick on me?
You think I have myself on a throne
I'm self-satisfied and arrogant
So you couldn't just leave me alone
You had to leave your comment

I think someone should check your head
To see if there's anything inside of it
You can say what you want, I don't care
Only I can bring myself down
And no one else can

I love me more

There wasn't a thing I wouldn't do for you
We could have lived in a treehouse if you wanted to
I could have been happy with you living on Mars
Four and a half years is not a farce

I love you but I love me more
You're gentle and you're sweet
But there's more that I need
I love you but I love me more

I act cool but of course it hurts
Dedication and devotion are not just words
They have been gone for so long
I wonder if you know how it works

I love you but I love me more
You're pretty and you're smart
But true love comes from the heart
I love you but I love me more

The brain starts in your spine if you have one
You can be so smart but when harsh times come
I never see a clenched fist, you always quit
You never learned how to fight or go for it

I love you but I love me more
You can say you love me everyday
But actions speak louder than words they say
I love you but I love me more

You never came

I have been up here
Waiting for years
For you to come near
To understand and adhere
But you never came

If you wanna be the man
Act like you give a damn
Show me how important I am
Be willing to do all you can
But you never came

The calculation

It's like I cut off my arm
I have made the calculation a thousand times before
But now this solution doesn't seem like the one I calculated
All the reasons I had for doing so have faded

I have to remind myself
Why I made these calculations the past few months
Something was missing and now it seems all at once
But this has been here as long as I can remember

I hate hurting you
I have been scared for being alone again
But that's no reason to stay with a man
I hope you'll grow stronger and learn

(Written in 2006)

My knight in shining armor
Isn't much of a charmer
But he knows how to irritate
Cause he's always running late

The love of my life
Refuses to do things he doesn't like
He can't go without his wine
Which means I always have to drive

My sweetest honeybunny
Has an almost perfect personality
He won't impress my parents the slightest bit
He doesn't like to take effort for me

My sexy one and only
Doesn't like to hurry
Sometimes he'd rather stay home than see me
That takes less energy

My sugarpie really cares for me
But he won't change a hair for me
He doesn't treat me like his queen
And I doubt if I'm in his dreams

If you love me, let me know
You can't just say cause you're introvert it doesn't show
This behavior only proves one thing:
You say you love me, but act like it's nothing

Tree house

I would have lived in a tree house with you
There wasn't a thing I wouldn't do
But only cause I thought someday you'd get there too

That day never came
4,5 years all the same
Just a dying flame

Didn't you feel something had to change?
Did you think this was normal?
Or did you think change will come by itself?
Cause I think you don't realize change doesn't come by itself.

B

I heard your heart tear
I saw you gasping for air
I think it's so unfair
You were completely unaware

I wish you would have said
I'll fight 'till the bitter end
But I know you can't
I don't think you have what it takes for things to be mend

I never see a clenched fist.
I never see willpower.
I never see you go for it.
Not even in the 11th hour.

Should I wait for you to grow a spine?
Should I wait for you to learn how to fight?
I doubt if you'll ever have a willing mind
Maybe you're just not that kind

Messy head

I woke up early cause I couldn't stop my thoughts
Everything was so clear for the first four years
And now it's not

I lie awake cause I can't stop my thoughts
I had my whole life planned, you were the man
And now you're not

Empty bodies

Cheap thrills
Low ambitions
Animal instinct
Bad decision?

You'd think I would know by now
How it works
And if there's no love in it
It only hurts

It seems so easy
Just for lust
But it gives us
Empty bodies