Independent woman

I am pretty, I am handy, I am smart.
But getting a date is pretty hard.
I’m not everyone’s cup of tea.
I’m an independent woman, you see.

I drive fast, I drink beer, but am avant garde.
So getting a date is pretty hard.
I got a Master's Degree and make more salary.
I’m an independent woman, you see.

I’m scared when I’m home alone.
I cry when something’s wrong with my cell phone.
I get upset when I break a nail.
I’m independent only until I fail.

My vile language comes straight from the heart.
So getting a date is pretty hard.
My sense of humour is rude and dirty.
I’m an independent woman, you see.

Got my own house, got my own car.
But getting a date is pretty hard.
I drive more guys home than they drive me.
I’m an independent woman, you see.

No, I won’t settle for less.
I need a guy who can handle PMS.
And also kill the bugs under my bed.
Who knows my shoe collection is sacred.

I masturbate more often than I should.
I beat you at trivial pursuit.
I complain the sex wasn’t good.
You don’t wanna meet me in a boxing mood.

But if it’s ok my life is ruled by sales,
Once a month I feel like a whale,
Or if I cry about titanic again and again,
You might be my independent-woman-man.