Tower of strength

It was easy, it felt warm and nice
I can still go there when I close my eyes
Always secure, a great deal of comfort
Always sure, always support
A shoulder to lean on, a tower of strength
Someone going to great lenghts
I could say whatever I thought
You'd still love me no matter what

Never scared of what's coming due
I really miss loving you

I have to rely on myself
No one there for help
Yes I have friends and family
But will anyone ever love me, the way you loved me?

Patience

I've played a game unlawfully
With dubious integrity
No reason for you to stick with me

I know that smile, I see big eyes
You wonder about my insides
You wonder if you can abide

I am not that bad, I'm just clumsy
I can't expect you to deal with me
I can't demand strenghth and resiliency

Patience is all that I need

Forgive me

I wear my heart upon my sleeve
My feelings are open for everyone to see
I trust my intuition judges people rightfully
And that I'll survive if someone hurts me

You have to learn you pant a seed
If you always act so precautiously
People won't understand you easily
They will question your sincerity

It'll become a self-fulfilling prophecy
What you fear will become reality
If you hold back, people will approach you carefully
And wonder if you're trustworthy

If you don't show your true intent
People will think you're cold and distant
Doubt if you wanna be their friend
Or if you're already making an escape plan

So if you seek predictability
Knowing all that people hide secretly
Open up to some and you will see
We're all human with flaws and hopes and dreams

And trust yourself that you'll survive
If someone doesn't act like you had in mind
You can always ask why they are unkind
And you'll learn so much in time

True friendship is bone deep
It hurts sometimes but that's what it needs
Cause you reap what you sow
Trust that what you give you will also receive
Maybe not now but someday you'll see
I will forgive you anything if you forgive me

Flaws

You say it's forever broken
I can't be more sorry than I am
I can only do the best I can
But after that it's up to you to trust me again

I can crawl on my knees
Cry, beg and pleed
But all I've got is my sincerity
What else do you need?

Did you ever really trust me?
You've always had second thoughts
You already think I'm guilty
Even when I am not

I will never have a clean slate
That doesn't have to mean a thing because
Friendship can go from good to great
If you embrace each others flaws

Trustworthy

I always manage to be that girl
I seem so cool
You wanna be my friend
We set up some rules
But I do as I please in the end

I made this mess
Now I have to live with it
I can't turn back time
I can't undo the things I did

I always manage to be that girl
I pretend I care about you
But then I let you down
And I never meant to
Cause when I say I love you it's true

I made this mess
And you have to live with me
Trust, appointments we made
Why did I let them fade?

I always manage to be that girl
That girl with a twist
I want you to trust me
And then I lie a little bit
I have to make myself trustworthy

Dial M for Me

You can't say I haven't tried
I don't just put 24 years aside
But for you out of sight is out of mind
You've let me down a thousand times
But this is where I draw the line
You're no longer a true friend of mine

You'll notice now that you're back home
After a while you'll feel alone
Everyone will see how vainly you roam
And then you'll notice you've got no one

And I've heard you blame me too
About a lot of things I never knew
Cause you don't talk like I do
But people who don't talk, always lose

"Ex"cidently

You notice when I cry myself asleep quietly
Cause you know everything about me
When I'm without make-up you say I'm sexy
You always know exactly what I need

I felt your love and wanted to know
If we still had a chance at growing old
But I was acting like a wolf in sheep's clothes
I let you in and misled us both

You're so sweet, your love so pure
You make me feel very safe and secure
Cause you're so smart and mature
You're heading for a decent future

You embrace my thoughts, even when they're wrong
You accept my words, all my slips of the tongue
I can totally be me, cause you're so strong
You never take the lead, but you'll always carry on

And I want so bad for you to be the man
There ain't a thing you don't understand
You will always be my best friend
But I will never fall in love with you again

I feel like I'm the wolf in disguise
I swallowed you whole, cause you're so nice
But we should both go on with our lives
Cause I don't wanna be the girl who broke your heart twice

E Talking

From all the men you were the worst
You don't know half you wish you could reverse
Sometimes you realize, you think you care
But you don't care enough to change a hair
Would you change if you knew the truth?
But whatever I say, it never rings through
You sleep tight in your nice home
The sunshine in your backyard doesn't know
I was locked in your bed all alone
I was a prisoner of words you owned
You call love a thing for fairy tales
You don't see, you built your own jail
And I will know great love someday
And then your heart still remains astray

Rockstar

You're normal, that's what makes you cool
I hope fame with never get to you like it can do

My best friend (1987-1997)

I've known you since you were a little lid
We used to do everything together
Everything you did, I did,
But now you think your boyfriend is better

Now I'm not important anymore
How could this be?
I'm just the girl who lives nextdoor
Have you forgotten about me?

And yes, maybe I'm jealous
I'm just afraid of losing a friend
Something has come between us
I don't want our friendship to end

Please cut me some slack
We go way back
Like I don't feel things like that
But you can't blame me for losing track

I've always been around
No matter what your life was about
When a new boyfriend was bound
I was still waiting for you to come back down

Years from now
You can still touch me somehow
I find myself waiting again
Waiting for you to say I am still you best friend

Wake without you

Do I miss you or just the thought of being in your arms?
Is it really you or just feeling safe and warm?
I don't wanna get stuck in this
But don't let me out of your kiss
If I could go back in time
To one of those moments you were still mine
Cause I don't wanna wake without you
I want to stay in this dream

Paper, rock, scissors

What if the paper beats the scissors?
What if the rock beats the paper?
You don't deserve to have one of my thoughts
You don't deserve her

What if I'm winning from losing?
I shouldn't care about what you deserve or not
I should be stronger and overcome this thing
And let the scissors beat the rock

Material

You've made a memory with me
I'm not yet sure of the category
I don't feel like it was me
I felt wanted, but also slutty
I wanted your body
You were funny and friendly
But you dropped a bomb on me
Your truth came out so suddenly
You have a girl and wanted one thing only
Like I would have considered the possibility
Of you being boyfriend material for me

Rebound girl

If there was one thing I could erase
It would be your inhumanity
That night, those words, alone in bed at your place
Those thoughts shouldn't belong to me
You've forgotten all that you've said
You put things in my head I don't deserve
You have no idea about any of that
You don't remember the torture
I cry, but I have no regrets
You aren't one of my best memories
I never think "what if we never met?"
But you shattered me to pieces
Maybe you were right in the end
You and I weren't meant te be a couple
I don't even want to be friends
I don't want you to see me struggle
Sometimes my thoughts still get caught in this twirl
You've found someone else to make you happy
I don't like to be called the rebound girl
It was real to me

De eenzaamheid

Je was er wel, maar nooit genoeg
Nooit op de manier die ik eigenlijk vroeg
Je leerde mij al op jonge leeftijd
De daadwerkelijke betekenis van eenzaamheid
Je kan alleen maar praten over dat ik jou niet begrijp
Is het zo moeilijk om gewoon te houden van mij?